


Breathing in the Light

by Shallw3run



Series: After the Fallout [2]
Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: F/M, Flashbacks, Fluff, Grief/Mourning, Mild Sexual Content, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-29
Updated: 2016-10-29
Packaged: 2018-08-27 16:55:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8409403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shallw3run/pseuds/Shallw3run
Summary: But I don’t care- I don’t. I couldn’t if I tried. Because I love him, and I’m scared one day I’ll lose him, and I don’t want to waste any moments I have with him. I’m wrapped around him, I’m clinging to him, taking in all of him. His dark hair, his chocolate eyes, his calloused skin. I want all of it. I need it.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing anything mildly sexual, so please don't judge me.

_Nate’s fingers are entwined with mine. Nate’s skin is calloused, but there’s a softness in the comfort it stirs within me. Nate’s hair is almost black, and his eyes are brown. He wears glasses. He says he doesn’t like to take them off because then he can’t see me properly._

_When he does take them off, he traces my face. He slides his fingertips over my nose, runs his rough palms over my jaw and cheeks. Traces my lips with such a gentle touch it’s as if maybe he’s not touching me at all._

_We’re walking on a path that encircles a park. The grass is lush, and green._ Green like your eyes, _Nate always tells me whenever we’re here._

 _Yesterday he got home from active duty. He’s been quiet since I picked him up at the airport. His affection has been hesitant, controlled. He saw things. His friend Jimmy died. I know this because Jimmy’s wife lives in the cul de sac on our street. I heard her sobbing at the front door while I was getting the mail, her grief washing over the neighborhood in contagious waves._ My boy’s out there too, _I’d thought to myself,_ That could be me breaking down in the doorway of my home.

_But it wasn’t me. I’m on a walk with my husband in the middle of the night, holding his calloused hands and looking up at his handsome face. Streetlamps reflect in his glasses. He looks down at me, and he smiles, though it doesn’t reach his beautiful brown eyes._

_“Mud brown eyes,” he'd always say._

_“Chocolate brown eyes,” I’d say._

_Deciding it’s time to untie his strings, carefully and cautiously pry him open so he’s not locking all his sadness away, I drag him to the edge of the park, near some trees. He’s confused, but he doesn’t question me. I sit on the grass that tickles my exposed legs. My dress -his favorite dress- pools around my thighs, and I don’t bother to yank it down. He sits in front of me on his knees, raising an eyebrow._

_“What’s wrong?” I say, reaching up with nervous hands, sliding them along his jaw._

_He swallows, his eyes darting away from mine._

_“It’s complicated, Vi.”_

_I lean up, getting closer to him so he can’t look away._

_“What isn’t?”_

_That’s all it takes. Because Nate and I don’t keep secrets, don’t bottle anything up. We’re open books, dedicated to each other, written in a language only the other person understands. And so his pages flip, and I read every one, drink up the sadness, the fear, the guilt._

_He blames himself for Jimmy. He should have reacted faster. Should have seen the bullet coming that blew his friends brains out._

_He says he can still feel the blood on his face._

_He starts sobbing, his sentences breaking off. I pull him forward, cradling him against my chest as he cries. I cry too. I stroke his thick hair, laying my cheek on his head._

_“It’s okay,” I murmur, “It’s not your fault, baby. It’s not your fault.”_

_He’s a mess for about five minutes before he quiets. His breathing becomes even. He keeps himself wrapped around me. I’m wrapped around him too. My hands ghost up and down his back. “I love you so much.”_

_Abruptly, he moves away from my chest, only to press his lips to mine. He holds my face, kissing me desperately. I gasp, melting into him. His hands knot in my red hair, and soon he’s leaning me back into the grass, pressing his entire body into me._  
_It doesn’t take long for his shirt to come off, for him to start running his hands under my dress. Soon his fly’s down and my underwear has been tossed aside. His glasses are strewn somewhere on the ground. It’s the middle of the night, but the park isn’t far from our neighborhood. I don’t care though. I kiss him, I drag my hands across his back, and I cry out into the summer night- a little too loudly._

_But I don’t care- I don’t. I couldn’t if I tried. Because I love him, and I’m scared one day I’ll lose him, and I don’t want to waste any moments I have with him. I’m wrapped around him, I’m clinging to him, taking in all of him. His dark hair, his chocolate eyes, his calloused skin. I want all of it. I need it._

_“Violet,” he breathes into my ear, rocking into me with reckless abandon. “I love you, I love you so much.”_

_“Nate!”_

_When it’s over, we’re both panting messes, Nate's still draped over me, though he’s supporting most of his weight. He rolls off of me, staring up at the starry sky we can barely make out through a canopy of leaves. A_ _nd then he laughs, turning his head to the side._

_“Sorry about that one,” he says, grinning, “Probably not my best work.”_

_I smirk at him._

_“I’d give it a seven out of ten.”_

_He whistles._

_“Well, that’s one of my highest performances then.” I laugh, curling into him, my head on his shoulder. “Maybe I should maul you in public places more often.”_

_“As lovely as that was-”_

 

“Vi?” MacCready said, drawing me from my thoughts, transporting me back to the Starlight Drive In. He was standing by the window of his sniper's nest, his eyebrows knitted together. “You okay?”

I laughed awkwardly, the sound higher pitched than usual. _Oh, god, he must never know I was just fantasizing about sex with Nate_. No one must ever know. How had I even managed to get on that train of thought? I nodded while I continued to laugh.

“Oh, yeah, I’m fine.”

“Why are you blushing?”

“Because I’m hot.”

He raised his eyebrows, doubtful.

“It’s January,” he said, leaning into the window sill.

“Fair point. Well, I better be getting to bed.”

I stood, hurrying to the stairs.

“It’s three o’clock in the afternoon!”

I ignored him, rushing out of the concessions building.

**Author's Note:**

> I was just listening this song and then this scene popped into my head so I thought I'd write it? I sort of just vomited onto the keyboard so it's alright if it's terrible. I don't know. Enjoy. Also, I really want to write one shots of just random little moments all throughout my story Sanctuary so, here we are. The first one.


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